Torn Asunder - review

Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair by Dave Carder is book about processing an extramarital affair. The book is divided into three sections.

Section one has five chapters that deal with understanding an extramarital affairs. Explained are the types of affairs and environments that cause affairs to flourish.

Section two has six chapters that deal with the process of healing. Included is how the spouse and the infidel process the affair, answering the 'why?' of the affair, handling anger, rebuilding trust, and recovering intimacy.

Section three deals with whether or not to tell, emotional affairs, and an experiment for spouses that do not want to restore the relationship. The book concludes with a series of appendices - telling the kids, forming a support group, marital satisfaction time line, and a bibliography.

This is a heart wrenching book, but one that offers hope in an extramarital affair. While Torn Asunder is filled with stories, Carder uses lots of diagrams to describe patterns and paths to recovery. There are quite a few sound Biblical principles that guide the process but it would be good to see a more prominent gospel focus in the solutions.

The Heavenly Man - review

The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun is a biography of the miraculous life of Brother Yun, a Chinese church planter. Yun's stories focus on the persecutions he faced as a Chinese believer and on God's provision during these seemingly impossible times. Some excerpts:

About evangelism

God poured out his Spirit out to many desperate souls. Like thirsty men in the desert, they gleefully drank in the water of God's Word. Even though I was just a teenager, the Lord enabled me to lead more than 2,000 people to Jesus in my first year as a Christian. (p 40)

About visions and dreams (of which Brother Yun has many)

As Christians we are not to live by any vision or dream, nor should we seek after them. We must only live by the Word of God and seek the face of Jesus. But we should also be open to allow the Lord to speak to us in these ways if this is how he wants to. Any vision or dream we receive needs to be carefully weighed against the Scriptures, as nothing from God will ever contradict his Word. (p 108)

About family stress

I've suffered many tortures and torments in my life. I've had electric batons placed inside my mouth. I've been kicked and beaten until I longed to die. I've fasted 74 days without food or water. But I tell you from my heart that the most difficult thing I've ever experienced was seeing the condition of my family when they came to visit me [while I was in prison]. They were all skin and bones from lack of food, were dressed in rags, and I could see they were all struggling terribly. (p 209)

About revival in the West

The first thing needed for revival to return to your churches is the Word of the Lord. God's Word is missing. Sure, there are many preachers and thousands of tapes and videos of Bible teaching, but so little contains the sharp truth of God's Word. (p 296)

It is worth noting that Brother Yun has detractors, but most of the accusations leveled against him seem somewhat baseless. For example, Yun's critics claim that he isn't a large house church leader, but the book never makes such a claim. What is more curious is that some of the more miraculous aspects of this book are not in question.

This is a very readable and convicting volume. Many of the episodes have a short retelling by either Yun's wife or by a fellow pastor which add a unique dimension to the accounts. This is reminiscent of Safely Home, only not fiction.

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership - review

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton offers guidance as to to how to seek God in the midst of ministry. The problem Barton addresses is that if Jesus were talking to "Christian leaders today, he might point out that it is possible to gain the world of ministry success and lose your own soul in the midst of it all." (p 13) The solution? "The More that we are looking for is the transformation of our souls in the presence of God." (p 14)

Some excerpts:

If we stay in solitude long enough, we become safe enough with ourselves and with God to say, yes this is how I am. We are able to surrender our to who we are - our limitations, our clinging and grasping and possessiveness, our selfishness and our fear. (p 52)

The practice of "turning aside to look" is a spiritual discipline that by its very nature set us up for an encounter with God. (p 62)

In the church [calling] can be little more than a pious euphemism for doing what we feel like doing. (p 79)

Ambivalence about the rigors of the spiritual journey is a predictable part of any true journey, and it is helpful for us as leaders to know this so that we don't take it too personally. A wise leader can help people understand their ambivalence as a very normal response to the challenges of the journey rather than an excuse to run back to what feels more secure. (p 95)

There are, however, some concerns. A full page Braveheart illustration (pp 96-97) doesn't really happen as Barton describes it. Sabbath-keeping is assumed as a spiritual discipline (p 122), but little support on how Barton comes to this conclusion. Lacking is an acknowledgment how she defines Sabbath-keeping, how various traditions use this term, or how this practice relates to the New Covenant. Barton also has some curious uses of Scripture, for example, Psalm 4:4-5 where "offering right sacrifices" is equivalent to staying faithful to our spiritual practices (p 125) and the idea that Jesus let Judas to stay hoping to the very end that Judas would make a different choice (p 185).

In order to fully appreciate what Barton was trying to take her readers through, I read only one chapter at a sitting. The selected quotes in the middle of the pages were relevant and new, not just a highlight of what Barton had already written. I enjoyed the book and the refreshing insights Barton gives.